Those Confusing Humans
by AliasCWN
Summary: The aftermath of The Twisting Fates Raid as seen through the eyes of a fly on the wall.


**Those Confusing Humans **

By: AliasCWN

Hello, my name is Hassim. I understand that you know my cousin Naji and my great-uncle Fetti. In case you've forgotten, both my cousin and my great-uncle are quite the storytellers. They both live with a human who calls himself a German, or is it captain?" I must admit, humans still confuse me.

Humans do seem to be a troublesome lot. Not only do they continuously try to kill my kind but they seem intent on killing their own kind too. I'm not sure just how you tell them apart but it seems to me that there are at least two kinds of humans; those who call themselves Germans and the ones they call Allies. And there is my first problem with these humans; in their language I thought that allies meant friends. Perhaps I just misunderstood the language because the Germans call their enemies Allies. But as I said, humans are confusing. The Allies, as they are called, call their friends allies and their enemies German, although I do recall some of them mentioning enemies called Italians. I can only assume that there may be a third kind of human although I am not sure I have ever met any of them. Then there are the Arabs too, and I'm not sure if they are friend or foe. Do you see my point about humans being confusing?

Because humans are so hard to understand I try to avoid them as much as possible. But, on the other hand, they are a good source of food, and I like to eat. Anywhere you find humans you can usually find a steady food supply. That's how I came to be in the human's home when this event took place. What event? Haven't you heard? Okay, don't get all upset, I'll tell you the story.

The Germans apparently captured some of the Allies and were keeping them in cages in the bottom of one of the buildings. Those Allies somehow managed to escape. That was the day before this all took place. From what I have been able to gather the commander suspected that someone helped them escape but I'm not real sure what that has to do with my story. My story actually started the next morning.

And that brings up my second problem. If I understand it correctly those Allies didn't escape from the cages, the Germans sent them away in one of their noisy boxes on wheels. So if they sent them away why are they so upset that they didn't come back? It seemed to me as if they didn't really want them in the first place. If they wanted them you would have thought that they would have kept them in the cages. But then, what do I know about the way that human's think?

Anyway, the German commander got it into his head that someone helped them escape and that may have played some part in the events that followed.

I just happened to be in his office getting a little snack when he arrived the following morning. Now I have been in his office before and I have to admit, his desk is usually pretty neat. This particular morning was the exception. The piles of papers that are usually stacked neatly around the edges were scattered all over, some were even lying on the floor. I knew the moment that I saw them that he was going to be upset but I was quite surprised at how he reacted.

He walked into that room and stopped so suddenly that his helper, he calls him his aide… his helper almost ran into him. The sound that came out of his mouth could only be described as a roar. I'm quite certain that he was loud enough to be heard over the winds of a sandstorm.

If that wasn't bad enough you should have heard him when he realized that his heavy metal box was open. He calls it his safe but it was obvious, even to me, a fly, that it wasn't very safe if just anyone could open it. That's when he stared yelling about the Allies who had escaped the day before. I don't know why he thought of them just then, but he seemed to think that they may have been the ones to mess up his desk. If they ran away why would they come back? See what I mean? Humans are hard to understand.

The commander said that they took his papers but from what I could see all they did was make a mess of them. What are papers good for anyway? I've seen the commander push them around or use them to swat at me or my relatives but they don't seem to fulfill any other purpose. Come to think of it, I wouldn't mind if those other humans took all of his papers, then he couldn't use them to swat at me. I was kind of curious as to why they would want them though. That's why I stuck around, just in case the commander explained the reason to his helper.

While I was waiting a lot more of the Germans rushed into the office. Before long it was getting pretty crowded in there and I had to find a safe place to sit and listen to what was going on. The commander was still yelling and waving his arms around like someone possessed. (It almost made me believe that ghost story that cousin Naji told.)

One of the Germans got down on his hands and knees to examine the (not) safe to look for what the commander called evidence. They all got really excited when he found a small, round object on the floor. They called it a button, whatever that is. They seemed to think that one of their own kind had lost it, a German, not one of the Allies. That started a whole new round of accusations.

The commander sat at his desk and carefully straightened all of the papers. I'm no expert, but I don't see how he could tell if any of them were missing, there were so many of them. After he finished getting his desk in order he told his helper to bring in the first guard. Now why would he need a guard if the papers were already gone? If they were gone it seemed to me that it would be a little late to bother trying to guard them. Like I said, confusing.

The guard didn't seem to be guarding anything, at least not anymore. It turned out he had been one of the humans guarding the Allies before their escape. He told the commander that while he was guarding the prisoners (the Allies perhaps?) he had noticed one of the prisoners winking at one of his fellow guards. Apparently this was not something they usually did. (I think I may have seen a human wink once, either that or he had something in his eye.) He also mentioned something about some nods. It meant nothing to me but the commander seemed to find it interesting. I would have thought that he would have asked the prisoner why he was doing it but I guess they don't speak the same language. I guess Germans don't learn languages as easily as flies, I myself speak three languages; German, English, and Arabic. It comes from living around all of them. The guard also said that the prisoner seemed friendly to the other guard. He claimed that the prisoner even smiled at him. I can tell you from my own personal experience that a smile doesn't mean that much. I've seen humans smile even as they are trying to swat us. Maybe that human wanted to swat the other one. (If flies had shoulders I'd shrug mine just to show you how confused I am by all of this.)

These questions went on for quite a while; at least it seemed so to me. Other guards came in and testified. One guard mentioned that the prisoner had thanked the other guard for something, only he couldn't say what the other guard had done to be thanked. Another said that the prisoner jumped to obey orders from one guard but ignored the others until forced to comply.

This all seemed circumstantial to me and I guess the commander agreed. He told the other Germans that he wanted hard proof. That's when the button was mentioned again. The commander sent someone to search the guard's room and they came back with a shirt. The shirt just happened to be missing a button. That little detail caused quite an uproar. (I learned what a button was so my time wasn't totally wasted.) It took me a few minutes to realize that the missing button was off of the shirt belonging to the guard in question, the one receiving all of the winks and nods. It wasn't until the commander had that guard report to him that I made the connection.

When asked, the guard acted as if the winks and nods were a total surprise to him. That didn't make sense to me, if the others saw them then how could he miss them? I guess the commander wondered the same thing because he asked him to explain how that happened. The guard continued to insist that he had no idea why the prisoner had acted that way.

"Why did he thank you for your help while he was being escorted to the truck?"

The commander's question made the guard's face turn red. That struck me as an odd reaction from someone who had no idea what was going on.

"I don't know." The guard insisted. "I didn't hear him say anything."

"One of your fellow guards heard him say 'okay, I got it', can you explain that?"

"I don't know." The guard stammered. "It didn't mean anything."

"It didn't mean anything? Then why would he say it?"

"I don't know." The guard answered again. "What about this?" The commander held up the shirt in one hand and the button in the other.

That guard turned red again. He tried to say that the shirt wasn't his. The commander's face turned livid at that answer. The guard was forced to admit that the shirt was his but he still insisted that he didn't know anything about the missing button. At that point he tried to convince the commander that someone was trying to frame him. Personally, I don't think that the commander believed him.

Another guard stepped forward to repeat a conversation that he had overheard when the prisoners escaped. He admitted that he didn't speak the language well but he insisted that the prisoners had mentioned having a contact who had offered to help them get some papers. He repeated the words as best he could remember them. Now I'm not sure what a contact is but it didn't sound good for the guard.

The guard being questioned couldn't explain that conversation either. Either he's not very smart or something was definitely going on. I'm pretty sure the commander was leaning toward the second explanation.

By this time I was starting to get a headache from all of the yelling. Thankfully at this point the commander sent all of the guards away so that he could think. He seemed really angry at the guard who had been accused but the guard had witnesses who swore that he was with them all night. I guess I wasn't the only one confused by all of the testimony. It's a good thing that I'm a fly and I don't have to worry about all of this stuff. I was really glad when the room got quiet again.

The commander's aide brought him some food since he had missed breakfast. It seemed like he took forever to finish so I could clean up the crumbs. Since he was already in a bad mood I didn't want to risk diving in too soon. He looked like he was in the mood to kill something and I didn't want to be his target.

After he set his plate aside I took the opportunity to eat my breakfast. The commander has a cook who makes the most amazing meals! I was sampling the toast and jam when the commander slammed his hand down on the desk. It startled me so much that I fell into the jam and very nearly got stuck! At first I thought that the commander was after me but then he bellowed for his aide. Believe me, I crawled out of that jam and found a safe place to clean off where I wouldn't be noticed!

When the aide rushed in the commander handed him one of his precious papers. He told the aide to file it while he had another one delivered to the guard he had been questioning. According to the commander it was a transfer order to send the guard to the Russian front. The commander explained that since he didn't have absolute proof he was reluctant to have the man shot but he no longer trusted him. I don't know what the Russian front might be but judging from the sounds of it, it isn't good. The commander didn't explain it so maybe his aide knew what it was. The man made a face but he didn't say anything; smart man. I can't say for certain but I don't think the guard is going to be happy with this new development either. He's sure had a rough day! I briefly thought about flying along to see his reaction to the papers but if he gets as angry as the commander I could be risking life and limb just being there. I decided to stay behind and finish the meal that had been so rudely interrupted.

I was enjoying my dessert when the commander's aide returned to announce that some major was on the radio and wanted to speak with the commander. Now I spend quite a bit of time eating on the base but I have never actually been to the radio room. I've heard a lot of stories about the little-man-in-the-box but I've never experienced it for myself. I decided that it was time I corrected that omission. When the commander left for the radio room I flew along. It proved to be very educational in a nasty sort of way. My mother would wash my mouth out with soap if I ever dared repeat even half of the words coming out of that box! Uncle Fetti never mentioned the foul language that little man used! He did say that the little major seemed to be angry all of the time and he assumed it was because he was stuck in that little box. Maybe he stayed in that box so he wouldn't get struck by lightning for his language. My ears were burning and he wasn't even talking to me.

Great-uncle Fetti did say the room was really warm since his captain usually comes away red-faced from talking to his little-man-in-the-box. It didn't seem that warm to me but the commander's face turned a deep shade of red too. Another thing I noticed was that the commander actually sputtered when he spoke to the man in the box, especially when he talked about the missing papers and his not-so-safe safe. Just the mention of that safe seemed to anger that little major fellow to a whole new degree. At least I think that's what it was; it could have been when the commander mentioned the papers he seemed to have misplaced. Whatever it was, the commander wasn't happy when the major-in-the-box quit yelling. (To be honest, I found the quiet quite refreshing.) The commander's face was red and his eyes were bugged out something like mine, only it wasn't natural for him. He was breathing heavy too, sort of like a camel that had just run halfway across the desert. His aide kept trying to calm him down but he seemed determine to have a heart attack (at least that's what his aide later claimed).

I also overheard the aide telling someone that the commander lost a promotion due to his carelessness. I don't understand that either because it seemed to me that the commander cared a lot, maybe too much.

I'll tell you this, that entire incident confused me. Humans get something they claim they want and then they send it away. Then they get all upset when it doesn't come back. But when I think about it, maybe what upset him was the idea that they might have come back. But they didn't stay so I still l don't see the problem. Perhaps Naji or Great-uncle Fetti can explain it to me. The commander is still in a foul mood so I am considering a change of residence, a least for a while. Maybe I will pay my cousin or my great-uncle a visit.

I don't know about you but I have a headache just thinking about all of the yelling that went on around here. A friend of mine said that he was present when the guard received his transfer orders. My friend said that he turned pale and expressed his feelings on the matter, and the commander, quite colorfully. Apparently he blamed those Allies for his problems. They were gone; I don't see how he could lay it on them. Confusing.

What is it with humans? If they can't get along with their allies how do they expect to survive as a species? Something tells me that flies, despite their short life spans, will still be around long after the humans are gone.

Well, it's been nice talking to you but I need to get some rest if I am going to be moving. All of this excitement has worn me out. I think I may go visit my cousin and my great-uncle after all. Maybe they'll have some new stories for me and I can share mine with them. You take care, and take some advice, stay away from the commander until he has had time to cool down. So long now. As the little-man-in-the-box- says, Hassim out.


End file.
